The Power of Saying ‘NO’

Free time. Yes, or No?

Whatever you do with your free time is your responsibility, but have you noticed how you are not-free during your free-time? All your options are predicted for you, so that you simply have to buy one of the alternatives on the shelf.

Do you want to know how free you are? Firstly, to discover your freedom, you must say ‘no’ to the available offers, to all you must say ‘No!’. Then, you must feel – you must experience – the fact you are not choosing, you are not doing anything of what is available. Only then, you start moving toward the possibility of being free. You will discover also that being free is painful and you don’t like it. It is much easier to give someone else the responsibility of choosing. You will have then someone to blame for your life dissatisfaction.

If you really want to discover that freedom, then You must adopt the skill of saying ‘no’.

‘No’ is the surprise you see in the eyes of the individual who hears your negative answer. There is the power of saying ‘No’: you understand that freedom is not easy and it involves accepting the responsibilities for your actions.

‘Yes’ is not always the easy answer, but in general ‘Yes’ is the answer that people expect from you, because it works for them and therefore you are not confronted with a reaction that disturbs the relationship.

Now, the best way to make you say ‘yes’ is to offer you a set of alternatives which have been preconceived for you. You won’t be tempted to say ‘No’ as you will say ‘Yes’ to one of the options laid down in front of you. You could say ‘No’ to the entire situation, though, but this rarely happens.

Every time, then, you are offered alternatives you are trapped already. You can only say ‘Yes’ – in fact, it does not matter which one you pick, the aim is inducing you to saying ‘yes’. The aim is to make you forget about saying ‘no’, because when you say ‘No’ you are empowering yourself. So, remember this next time you say ‘Yes’- ask yourself the question: Could you have said NO! instead? Each time you become aware of the fact you could say ‘no’, you are building more personal power. And this is really effective when you actually say it and stick to your answer.